Ask me a question! Just do it! Ask me a freakin question!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sunday, the day to worship your Crazy God
I like this cat. It reminds me of my mom, when I was little and said the third smart ass thing in a row. Only, she was much bigger and generally armed with something like a shoe, or a serving spoon full of mashed potatoes. I like how the kitty's eyes go all boggely, like it really is listening to a different voice on each side of it's head. There are a lot of really funny pictures at www.funnyjunk.com - if you want to just sit and laugh, it is the place to go. Also, www.joecartoon.com is pretty hilarious as well. Try 'Nana Hooter' or one of the many gerbil cartoons where you get to let the pirhanas eat the gerbil a little at a time...or there's always the frog in the blender. I had a very interesting question yesterday, and either it was from one of my friends or relatives trying to get some hilarity out of me, or it is from someone who believes they are suffering from ADD when actually, it could very well be dyslexia. It's okay, though. We are all 'loved' here. Everyone is accepted, spelling skills or not. In fact, in my answer, I clearly meant to say 'mainly potatoes' when what I actually said was 'manly potatoes'. It can happen to anyone. Probably not on every word, but maybe there was somekind of drunkenness, or swollen fingers, or something so bizarre that not even I could figure it out. But, I did answer the question. I think. I didn't even know they could grow potatoes in India. I thought that was Idaho.
Since it's Sunday, let's talk about God. First let's talk about the God that hates sinners. That one is pretty much not on my side. I am, and have been, and probably will continue, to live in sin. If that reserves me a parking space in hell, then I am glad I went to bartending school. I will just bartend in hell! I've already been able to get on the good side of many Satans just by fixing a great drink. And remembering what drink they want every time they come back. I'm just thinking....I bet I could remember Satan's drink. How hard could it be? 'Flaming Sulfurita'?
Anyway, I think a better choice of Gods for me might be that cute little elephant-headed Hindu God, Ganesh. He loves everybody, good or bad, and moves obstacles out of their way. I'm gonna try my luck with him. Happy Sunday, Everyone!!!!!!
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19 comments:
come to church! i will forgive you for your sins.
dont listen to him! come to hell! fix me that flaming sulphurita you were talking about!!!!
HA! Now I have you BOTH on my side the WORLD IS MINE!!!
well f*%# forgiveness then!
See? I told you I was having a little trouble with the God that hates sinners. It's okay, God...you're welcome here even if you can't spell and have to use symbols to communicate. We still love you, even though you hate us sinners. You aren't going to nail me to anything, right?
look at the dim side, you still have me
i love you
Yes, you and Ganesh. Hey, Ganesh? could you move this burning pile of Satan out of my way?
nobody ever talks about me. the blue-skinned, four-armed god of life!
Hey God, wanna go grab a beer? I have this great new bartender!
Bring Shiva. She can drink four beers at a time!
IM A GUY
Details, details. As the creator of everything I cannot remember EVERY detail. What do you think I am, perfect or something? What? I am perfect? I have no excuses? Wow. Bummer. How 'bout that drink, Satan old pal?
Well, I do remember everything. I know everything. I am a knower of it all, and the remember of all. And clearly I know more than God, who just admitted to having forgotten something that I personally remembered really really well. Here is the church I go to.. The Church of Google. Put that into your yahoo search bar, you'll find it and you'll be glad you did.
Grrr... Church of Google... what kind of bull shit is that? I belong to the church of the blind chichuahua... yes.. I do.. www.dogchurch.com It is THE ONE TRUE CHURCH! And I'll bite you in the ass if you disagree with me.
What the hell are you guys talking about?
You people will rot in hell, you will die an eternal everlasting death of hell fire and brimstone. Making fun of God is a sin and God hates sinners.
I just want somebody to give me enough money for a bottle of wine and a roll of toilet paper.. that's all.. wine and toilet paper.. so shut up about hell and god and church.. Church is when you begin to hear the music before the bottle is all gone. Hell is when the toilet paper falls into the mud but you didn't realize it until you had already used it. And God is dead. So shut the hell up.
sal;ithnm;bvahsnb.b.tpawngldgsdfmnboithslengotihgf.hbosd... oops..
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