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Friday, February 16, 2007

Here's something crazy

Swell, folks. I have just found out that children have no rights. Neither do mothers. It doesn't matter that the asshead father of my daughter has never paid child support until the state made him,(and he is already behind on that), he has been both emotionally and physically abusive to me and my other children., has not seen her since she was a little baby, never sends birthday or christmas cards, nothing....yet...none of this matters. The judge is just going to hand over my three year old daughter to a monster that WILL hurt her. Not a question of will he, but just when? And because I was afraid to press charges on him when it happened...he has all the rights. The court doesn't care that he has been abusive. So far they haven't even let me speak as to why I don't believe he should be with her. That is insane. It makes me almost lose my mind. It's like telling me to put her in the middle of the highway and then, if she gets hurt, we'll discuss why it's a bad idea. There is no justice or fairness in this. There is no one but me trying to protect her...no one who is even after her best interest besides me. Yet he can just waltz in after being an absent, shitty, abusive asshole and get whatever he wants. How do you protect your children? How in God's name can I protect her when that court won't even hear me, just keeps on granting him temporary visitation? So far it is in a public place supervised by me so I know he won't be able to physically hurt her...it's when he gets her by himself that worries me. I hope that she realizes, as an adult, that I fought for her. And that when he does decide to hurt her, maybe he will only break her heart instead of one of her arms or her neck because he lost his temper. What a dangerous creep. I can't even get a child protective order for my older two children and a restraining order against him for myself because it has been over two years since the abuse happened. It is my gut instinct to protect my children whatever the cost may be to me......and I have never felt more desparate or hopeless or useless to her. She deserves so much better. She deserves to grow up in a life where she doesn't have to be afraid of her own father. I'm scared for her. I can't be crazy today, I can't save my daughter from sure physical, emotional and mental abuse at the age of three. All I can do is cry, because she is so precious and pure and little and fragile and I am just terrified for her. And I can't do anything about it.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

if that asshole gets my little sister, i will do whatever it takes to make sure that he ends up dead with no trace of a body whatsoever in the country of the unoted states. that son of a bitch has some nerve to press charges against you because he cant even pay the goddamn child support! am i being fair here? i hope i get that call from the sherrif soon so that i can talk them into letting her stay with you. i hope that he commits suicide because god knows that if he hurts one red hair on that little girls head, i will sue him for all that he has and win. i hope asshole never gets custody of her because ill get my dad to fight for her. tell him that. my dad could probably get the best lawyer in the country to fight for that little girl and i guaran-goddamn-tee you he will. that really just makes me angry. if you see him, give him a big punch in the face for me.

Anonymous said...

I really do think that everything is going to be OK. My intuition tells me that there is something good that is going to happen that will keep her safe. I don't know what, or when, or how, or anything.. I just have this intense feeling that it is all going to be OK.

Maybe I am the crazy person for thinking this, but nevertheless, I think that something will happen. Something good. Something big.

I love you and I'm sorry.

I am anonymous because this computer has gone insane and is not allowing me to put my name in.. the java isn't working, I am typing this into a tiny little box on a big white screen and amazingly it previews ok.

So. Peace be Still. All is Well.

Michelle said...

Thanks guys. i am thinking over my options. i know i have to let her go to the supervised stuff, and that as long as he is in public he will not do anything to her. What will happen from there, I dunno. I can't think about it anymore tonight...I'm all done crying and have gotten numb. I'll see you all tomorrow and let you know how the crazy damn fiasco goes.

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