Wow! So, to my previous posters.......
To Offspring #1: You are loved. Crazy loved. And thank you for being so watchful about those knives......now, being that you were my worst and most painful birth, I expect great things from you. Presidency, (of something other than the local psych ward) or doctor, (good drugs...I'm voting on this one) or something even better, like an artist. Chop chop, boy...get to it!
To Sally: Obviously, if you inherit a million dollars, you should give it to me.
To Shirley's first question.....If you are truly the baby's father, then you can not count on the court for diddley squat. What you do is, Go to where the baby is. Act really ditzy, then do some drugs. The baby will think you are it's father, and soon, it will follow you around because there is no one left to drug the baby's bottle. I mean, babies are difficult enough without withdrawal....if the baby wants to go with you, then I say, you're a gypsy...just take it. You probably aren't going to see any of that fortune though, unless you can start her hooking early.
To Shirley's second (impatient) question....I may be crazy but that gives me access to good medications which help me sleep sometimes. And, you do deserve special treatment. If you want to come over I will share my crazy drugs!!! Also, I had no idea that anyone would actually look at my blog....or really ask questions. Whew. I was having a hard time not just asking myself the same things over and over curled up in the fetal position in front of the computer screen.
To Ponymacaroniwannabee: no, unfortunately, my house does not look like this. There are way more scary children and the crap they drop and leave and walk over and smush.....wonder what would happen if i just glued the children down to something with liquid nails? that would help with the chasing, but then there would be the listening which would drive me crazier and then i would have to get out of the house...and they would be glued down........and I can't just leave them home by themselves that's against the law.......I can see this needs more planning.
And now, TwoFeathers.....I have no art posted there because I am probably the most disorganized, stagnant artist to date. I have done 1 and 1/2 new pieces in two years. I used to be able to sell art at shows...then babies kept dropping out of me and now all my arms and legs are falling off.....I might post there sometime, but not today because I have saved today for the most special things of all.....changing poopy diapers, fixing everything that makes a three year old whine, finding new and improved ways to ramrod my 7 year old, and that leaves hardly any time for me to think up some devious and wicked plan to thwart the evil plans of the Leader of the Elks. But I will go there and look, because I know that will make you happy. And someone in this mess should be happy.....today it gets to be you!
and about that site.....HEY WAIT!!!!! are you suggesting that I am mentally ill????
Any more questions will be answered fairly promptly....sometimes I fall asleep so I can't post in my sleep. but I will try. Anything for you guys. sniff...I love you, man....
Ask me a question! Just do it! Ask me a freakin question!
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10 comments:
why don't crazy people wear underwear?
Because underwear were created by some tortured soul, probably male. What else is constantly up your ass? if your underwear hasn't taken up residence and you are a woman, your man will soon find some reason to be up your ass even further. As far as thong panties...well, you can only imagine a crazy person constantly picking their articles OUT of their butt....but put one there on purpose and it hits some crazy switch.....like a horse with a burr under it's saddle....it's kinda funny, actually.....
I thought crazy people DID wear underwear. You know, the kind with big holes in them? The kind with no elastic that fall down below your butt crack every time you stand up. The kind that you can only wear if you have on loose jeans so you can reach your hand in and pull them up when they hit your knees. Was I wrong? And if so, doesn't that mean that I'm NOT crazy after all?
and I want to know when you are going to get an rss feed going so I can feed this blog to my dog.
and I want to know when you are going to get an rss feed going so I can feed this blog to my dog.
To the bag lady....ma'am, that is your husband falling down your pants. Your underwear has rotted all the way off. And, you might want to wash those jeans...I think they belonged to him too before he took the upwards dive into your colon......
Canine Clogger....hmmm. lemme see if I can explain an rss feed...okay. it does not shoot dog kibble out of your computer. it does not mean feed, really, i don't think. i really have no idea what an rss feed is, but since i don't have one, i can assure you that it does NOT shoot dog food anywhere. And, if i was going to set up something to shoot dog food someplace, it would not be at you. that would just be mean. i would take aim at the biggest, drunkest Elk i could find.
well gretchen...mom if you will...i certainely hope gramma gave you a bunch of crap because you were her most painful. but uncle person was probably the mosty painful seeing as he has a much larger skull. probably due to being male. all of you women just hate us don't you. you have some kind of secret organization in every ladies room in the world. this is why no one ever goes in there alone isnt it?
Well, Offspring #1....
Ladies really do have a secret society. We don't really hate men, at least those of you who do not affect us directly. The thing about the Ladies room is that it is the only place where a woman can get the hell away from whatever doddling old troll she is with and get some air. We go together so we can gossip about the doddling old trolls. As for uncle Person, he is soon to be Uncle Daddy....scary that another one of us is beginning to procreate. keep your mind at task, Boy...aren't you supposed to be studying to be a doctor or a lawyer or something?
well haven't you just been a busy little bee.. 3 blogs??? what happened.. did you double your psych meds?
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