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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Spray Bottle Parenting


Quite by accident I discovered an entirely new parenting method. You see, as I have become less physically functional, and my reaction time is a lot slower, my children have found that it takes me a lot longer to get up and so they smart off a lot. Or make faces. Or directly disobey. So, in the process of training the kitten not to get up on the tables, I began using a spray bottle much like this one you see here.
Now you would think, by the way my children react when squirted, that there was some kind of boiling hot lava in the bottle.....but it's just plain old water. And it reaches a smart ass comment much faster and at a greater distance than say, me getting up and smacking the snot out of them. All I have to do now is pick up the squirt bottle and everyone stops doing whatever it was they weren't supposed to be doing.
Of course, this is what everone looked like for the first week, but now, they are way more used to it. And I once again have the MotherPower......

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

They misunderestimated you.

Anonymous said...

That's nothing new.. my mom still does that to me.

Anonymous said...

Actually I think moms are way more scary than kids... my mom scares the hell out of me all the time!

Anonymous said...

I tried to make a comment about scary kids (because I have some) and I couldn't.

Anonymous said...

Is it true that if you yell for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee?

Has anybody ever done that?

Anonymous said...

My daughter tried that, so I threw her out the window.

Anonymous said...

You did?

Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm going to try it! AAaarrrggggggaaaarrrrgggaaaarrrrgggggggg... (choke, cough, sputter)... it's harder than it sounds... but my mom is looking kinda scared.. COOL!

Anonymous said...

alithendasla
sldith0-btlnei;ngadfjkl;!!!!
slsen
bolirtneg
bnot=g
blbilrtha'

?????

Anonymous said...

Hey, any of you guys got a joint? You could maybe email it to me? I'm about out! Here's my email address:
rubberchickensmokespot@aol.com

Anonymous said...

ohpleasedeargretchen
spraymewithyourbottle
squirtmeplease
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyourmommylove

Anonymous said...

Igor. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?

Anonymous said...

What do you mean? He doesn't have shades on!

Anonymous said...

I'm interested in the shade look, seriously.

Anonymous said...

howdoyouknow
idonthaveshades
onmrknowitall

deargretchen
iwillwearshadesforyou
evenatnight
evenwhenyousquirtme
withyourlovebottle

Anonymous said...

Sinners! Heathen! Beware! For God said: "I am he who searches the kidneys and the hearts, and I will give you individually according to your deeds.... I am going to vomit you out of my mouth" So watch out! Repent! Repent! Repent!

Michelle said...

Dear Lord! From the looks of these comments, spray bottle parenting has come way too late for some!

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